How my dog uses English
Yes, we all like to think our dogs understand a bit of English. And so they do, but sometimes they are using a different dictionary. This insight came to me recently through a series of revisions by my old boxer to our longstanding conversational routine.
It goes something like this: The dog wants something. He stares intently into my eyes as if trying really hard to use ESP. (If I'm not looking, he has a progression of moves that get my attention.) I try to figure out what he wants by running through the small set of phrases we both know. They all start with, "You want.....?" like a multiple choice quiz. He watches and listens intently, ears pricked, until I hit on the right one. Then, he turns and walks away, towards his goal, stopping to make sure I'm really coming along.
The questions are: "You wanna go outside?" , "You want dinner?" , "You wanna go walk?"
We've been doing this for years and years. Now that Grumpy is home from Ireland, life is more complex, and Homie is trying to adapt our language to new problems.
When Grumpy has prepared himself a meal of savory sausages, for example, he prefers to focus all his attention on the meal. So he takes it into the bedroom and shuts the door. I'm usually at my computer in the living room when this happens. Since I never shut Homie out when I'm eating (we work it out), he is taken aback by this behavior.
A few weeks ago, Homie and I did our usual multiple-choice question routine, and he selected "outside." I got up and went to the back door, opened it, and Homie wasn't there with me. This was really peculiar. I backtracked and found Homie standing at the bedroom door, clearly waiting for me to open it. Wow! I have a genius dog who takes linguistic initiatives!
Although I could not grant his request, I did communicate my pleasure and amazement at his ingenuity. I revised my copy of the dictionary to indicate that "outside" in Homie-English means "through the door." He tried that a few more times, so it wasn't just a freak occurrence. He's really thinking this through.
But it doesn't stop there. The other day he responded to "outside" again, but the back door and bedroom door were both standing open. Homie led me into the kitchen where Grumpy was making chicken salad and NOT giving Homie any bites! This just isn't right. I always give Homie bites when I'm fixing something he loves. He knows he can count on me. He looked at Grumpy, then looked back at me with appealing great brown eyes, then back at Grumpy again.
I got it! He wanted me to make Grumpy do right!
So, I'm scratching out my previous revision. "Go outside" means "Pass through a barrier that only you can remove."
If only!
It goes something like this: The dog wants something. He stares intently into my eyes as if trying really hard to use ESP. (If I'm not looking, he has a progression of moves that get my attention.) I try to figure out what he wants by running through the small set of phrases we both know. They all start with, "You want.....?" like a multiple choice quiz. He watches and listens intently, ears pricked, until I hit on the right one. Then, he turns and walks away, towards his goal, stopping to make sure I'm really coming along.
The questions are: "You wanna go outside?" , "You want dinner?" , "You wanna go walk?"
We've been doing this for years and years. Now that Grumpy is home from Ireland, life is more complex, and Homie is trying to adapt our language to new problems.
When Grumpy has prepared himself a meal of savory sausages, for example, he prefers to focus all his attention on the meal. So he takes it into the bedroom and shuts the door. I'm usually at my computer in the living room when this happens. Since I never shut Homie out when I'm eating (we work it out), he is taken aback by this behavior.
A few weeks ago, Homie and I did our usual multiple-choice question routine, and he selected "outside." I got up and went to the back door, opened it, and Homie wasn't there with me. This was really peculiar. I backtracked and found Homie standing at the bedroom door, clearly waiting for me to open it. Wow! I have a genius dog who takes linguistic initiatives!
Although I could not grant his request, I did communicate my pleasure and amazement at his ingenuity. I revised my copy of the dictionary to indicate that "outside" in Homie-English means "through the door." He tried that a few more times, so it wasn't just a freak occurrence. He's really thinking this through.
But it doesn't stop there. The other day he responded to "outside" again, but the back door and bedroom door were both standing open. Homie led me into the kitchen where Grumpy was making chicken salad and NOT giving Homie any bites! This just isn't right. I always give Homie bites when I'm fixing something he loves. He knows he can count on me. He looked at Grumpy, then looked back at me with appealing great brown eyes, then back at Grumpy again.
I got it! He wanted me to make Grumpy do right!
So, I'm scratching out my previous revision. "Go outside" means "Pass through a barrier that only you can remove."
If only!
posted by Cranky Ol' Lady at 5:40 PM
2 Comments:
I'll agree that Homie is amazing. He's the 2nd smartest dog I know, and the most gentlemanly. You could have mentioned that his progression to get your attention continues until he is glaring at you from about 6 inches -- he cannot be ignored.
I am a little jealous of your communication with Homie. My cat (Joe) communicates his desire by dashing in front of my legs while meowing in a frantic manner. Usually I barely avoid tripping and slamming into the furniture or floor. One of these days that cat is going to kill me!
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