May-December

"Being Julia" is a celebration of aging womanhood that doesn't shy away from its pathetic side. I, too, was once hopelessly and ridiculously in love with a man half my age. It lasted a long time because it was never consummated. If I had acted to initiate, it might have been, but at that time of my life I needed for him to want me. He was sweet, intelligent, gorgeous, and had time on his hands. We talked, went to films together or watched them at my place, and he read the stories I was writing in those days. I encouraged his music. I fantasized endlessly about taking it the next step, but I didn't, so for a couple of years I simply had a friend and an intensely passionate secret obsession. I sidestepped all but the most private humiliation when he finally got a sex life with (totally unworthy) girls his own age. I lucked out. If he had been less considerate (or hornier), he could have taken advantage of the situation and bruised me badly.

Julia (Annette Bening) didn't get off so easy, but she took her triumphant revenge for all of us. I have a longtime crush on Jeremy Irons, who plays her admiring (and also guilty) husband. I think it started with "Damage," the ultimate guilty-passion film. I saw it, saw it again, took other people to see it, bought it, and then set out to get my hands on every other film he had made. I had quite a collection, which I lost when I loaned it out to my ex-agent (literary) and shied away from asking for its return. I love the tormented roles he's played and the way he plays them. I once wrote a story with him in mind (wanted to send it to him, didn't). He's not tormented in "Being Julia," but I liked watching him, hearing that wonderful voice. At least he's about my age.